This is a question that I ask myself everyday. Be honest. This is the question most of us ask each day. We call our parents. We call our boyfriend/hubby. We call our best friend. We talk to the barista at Starbucks or the cashier at Target about our issues. I’m guilty of this too. There are plenty of times it feels like I will complain about whatever has happened to me to just about anyone who will listen to me.
My latest complaint is, why did I have to move to Kentucky when I wanted to stay in Alabama? Just a flashback from the past couple of months. I graduated from the University of Alabama in December 2016, which took me an extra semester because why not have a victory lap right?!? Since then I waited for my company to place me in a state so I could start being an adult and not have to ask my parents for money to go and buy ice cream or clothes. Finally February 20th came with that beautiful email saying, “Congratulations Natalie! You have been placed in…. Kentucky.” Wait…what? Let me tell you I screamed from pure joy of finally getting my placement, cried from having to leave home, and laughed because well why not have another emotion going on for this moment that happened all within about 10 minutes of each other. Flash forward to now three months later and I have started to wonder why did I get placed here. I went from a place where I had my family, friends and my puppies to a place where I am completely alone.
I have spent many nights crying and calling home asking when will the next time I will see my family be. Is it because I dislike my job? No. Do I believe that this is the job for me at the end of the day, absolutely not. But hey a job is a job right? Is it because I dislike Kentucky? No. Kentucky actually has some really pretty and fun places to explore. Not being too far from an amusement park isn’t bad either. Is it because I haven’t completely given God a chance to show me my purpose at this point? Honestly, Yes.
Now if you would have asked me those three questions two weeks ago I probably would have answered all three yes. However, I have started a “Women in the Word” bible study, which can be found on She Reads Truth, where I have been diving deep into the stories of the women in the Old Testament. Surprisingly enough I have felt the deepest connections with Noah’s wife (Gen 6: 9 – 7:12, Gen 8:13-22) and Jochebed (Exodus 1:22 – 2:10), the mother of Moses. These two women really had some strength and trust in the Lord. Let’s take a short quiz. Raise your hand if you would volunteer to get on a boat for forty days and forty nights with your family and random animals all while the world outside that you knew was completely destroyed. Well, yes we all would…but still for the purpose of the story lets all say no. Now raise your hand if you had given birth to a child, taken care of him for three months in secret, all to put him in a basket at the river at three months knowing that he was probably not going to live throughout the day due to Pharaoh saying he wants all Hebrew boys killed. Yea….no that takes some strength. When I think about how God knew the stories of these two women and knew how it would turn out makes me tingle inside because how awesome is that? These two women trusted that God would take care of them no matter how hard the sacrifice would be for them to make. Little did they know that one of them would help restart the world, and the other would gain her son back so he could be raised in the palace to later lead his people through a sea towards safety. Wow! God is awesome. He took the messiest of situations and made it into something beautiful.
These stories allow me to see that I am being stubborn and I need to let it go. Everyone just take in a deep breath, hold it…keep going, now let it out.
Read these words out loud with me: God has it. I will let it go.
Now don’t you feel better? I definitely do. I no longer need to worry about why I am in this new town. God made it a point for me to be in this place at this time. Is it for personal gain? Maybe. Is it to help others see him through me? Um, most definitely. The place I work has no windows and I work the night shift (6 pm – 6 am), so the more light I have shining through me throughout my day the better for others to see God. Lastly, is the reason I am in this place to further my spiritual growth? The answer is always going to be yes. God wants to be able to have relationship with you. He doesn’t want you to feel like you have to spend time with him, he wants you to want it.
No matter where you are in your journey right now just remember GOD HAS IT. God has known you and your story since before you were born. It seems silly to not just give it all to Him so we do not have to worry. But, alas, we are human and we just can’t help it for some reason. That is why everyday I wake up and I pray this little prayer:
“Lord, help me let it go. Help me give my struggles up to you because I know that you already know the purpose for me. Help me yearn for your plans instead of mine.”
Today start letting God do his thing so that you can do less worrying. Be still in His presence and listen to what He has to say to you. Take that extra five minutes to talk to Him so that you can learn about your purpose.
“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10